Doubtful Faith

It is hard to maintain belief. Even the firmest of beliefs will be subject to doubt. One could almost say a belief without doubt is not true belief. To go even further, fundamentalism doesn't grow out of belief, it grows out of doubt.

There is never need to prove true faith, indeed, there is nothing one can do to prove faith. Actions taken in the name of faith are really actions taken to prove one's faith to others.

Is love really love if it is necessary to continually prove one's love? It isn't love one must prove, for how is that possible? It is commitment that requires proof.

It is difficult because we are hard-wired to believe what we see. After all they have been through, despite a trust in one another most of us would envy, Scully cannot but believe Mulder's betrayal upon seeing him sitting in that car with the CSM. (cf. Wetwired) Herein lies the paradox. Though we place such faith in the eye-witness there is little reason for it. We see what we want to see. Harken back to "Jose Jung's 'From Outer Space’" for verification.

In American courtrooms, the accused is brought before the jury in an orange jumpsuit with hands and feet in chains, a direction indication of guilt. How are you going to find innocent a person even the cops are afraid of? If asked, I would advise my students to wear a plain colored shirt, preferably blue, without a tie and the top couple of buttons undone. There is nothing more likely to bring back a guilty verdict than a tie the jury members find objectionable.

We see what we want to see, what we are predisposed to see. If you find yourself being questioned about your faith it is probably because the inquirer has their own doubts and most do things to conform to him/herself that their faith is strong. They therefore require the same standard of proof from others. You can never prove yourself to someone who has no faith in their self.

In seminary it was a truism that converts had a stronger faith than life-long Catholics. The convert has made a decision that needs continuous justification. They pray harder, kneel longer and demonstrate their devotion.

It is hard to maintain belief because we know it isn't true. There is always that part of us that knows our faith is folly:

"I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul.” (cf. Mother Teresa: The Imperfect Saint Who Struggled with Doubt)

True faith is aware of its own foolhardiness. Just as the brave are aware of their own fear, so the believer must be aware of their doubt. One's belief can only be threatened by doubt if it catches one be surprise.

Scully has placed her faith in science and Mulder. She is not prepared for the inevitable contradiction. Truth be known, there is nothing in Mulder's belief system that couldn't be explained by Scully's science. There just is no reason for her science to explain things of which it has no experience. Scientism is the belief that science can explain everything and what it can't isn't possible. Scientism is the belief in that which can be proven, which is, ironically, no belief at all.

Science requires no doubt. A thing is, or it isn't. It can be proven, or it can't. It conforms to norms, or it isn't possible.

Scully is a Catholic. She should be experienced at doubting her belief. Obviously she is a better scientist than Catholic. Not that the Church measures one's degree of belief. Just that if she truly believed in her faith she would know that duplicity is to be expected, even in those who most vehemently demonstrate their faith - especially those.